Hello, Readers! It’s Clevenger here. I’m very excited to continue sharing our tales about mental health and our struggles and successes. Before I begin, I want to say how extremely happy I am that Graham could share his story with you all. As I got deeper into my journey, I understood how powerful and cathartic sharing my story was to me. With Graham’s experiences, it’s been far more difficult to open up about his, and I’m so proud of him for doing so. He is part of my rieve and I’ll forever protect him as such.

This journey as an author has been very interesting. It has been, at times, easier than I expected. And at other times, harder than I could imagine. But overall, it has been more rewarding than I could dream of.

Writing is now a huge part of my life, but it is part of a life crammed full of conflicting priorities. I constantly have to struggle with the balance of my current career, my duties as a husband and father, and social and recreational activities. So I want to talk about how each of these aspects affects my writing, and how my writing affects it.

Career

Writing is not my “full-time gig.” Yet.

The dream is to get a book published. The “pipe-dream” is to be a successful traveling author who can write full time. But I am lucky enough to work as a software consultant for a stable company and dedicated to a client base I respect. So, it’s a luxury that I can support my household on a generous salary, wonderful benefits, and a predictable (mostly) schedule. But adding writing to a 40+ hour work week is not an insignificant challenge.

So, I write when and where I can. I’ll spend lunch breaks writing rather than going out. I’ll use down time at a hotel writing. I’ll make small notes on my phone when traveling. Anywhere I can add to the story, I will try. Sometimes, it’s a struggle, but it’s one that I dedicated myself to. By spending an hour or two a few days a week, I find that I’m able to achieve our goals and even exceed them.

Husband/Father

I have been married to a wonderful woman for many years. And I’m blessed that she is a crafter. She designs and sews clothing and costumes and has always had a passion for crafting and creation. So when I dedicated myself to this writing process in 2019, she recognized the passion I had for it. Now, I’ve long had a tendency to start these types of projects and taper off and lose focus. But in 2020, when we were still going strong, and the word count of Manticore’s Shadow started to crest 25 thousand… then 30 thousand… then 50 thousand, she started to see that this was more than a whim.

When I would sit on Saturdays in my den, staring at a blank screen or fingers flying, she was supportive and encouraging. Our marriage has been built off our ability to spend time doing that thing we love, and we quickly balanced our nights to allow each other our own personal craft time.

In 2020, we had our first child. This was a massive shift in our schedules. Our little boy is a wonderful focus of our lives and is an amazing part of our daily lives. My father was a factory worker in the midwest auto industry my entire life. He worked double shifts and weekends just to make ends meet. I’m fortunate to work in a career that provides me a better balance. At night, I come home, spend a few hours playing and eating with the boy. Then when he goes to bed, I sit on the couch or in my den and pluck away at my keyboard. No longer can I just “write when I’m inspired” but had to be “inspired when I could write.”

Hobbies and Obligations

Besides the above, I have my table top gaming nights, birthday parties, family events, vacations, and other life events. These have long been a scheduled part of my life, and remain as such. And with shifting priorities, I have cancelled a game to attend an event, and declined an event because it was “game night.” Now, I add writing to the same list. Every weekend, I look at what I have left to do, and decide on how I can fit my writing into that schedule. Early this year, my family took a trip to Washington DC, and I wrote 3 chapters during the trip.

In summary,

Writing is a welcome obligation. A commitment I made with Graham. We dedicated ourselves to putting this story of ours together and take pride in our work. We hold each other to our goals. We forgive each other when those goals slip from time to time. But we constantly remember that without effort, this would be a flight of fancy. That with work, it is a reality. This includes a weekly virtual conference call on Discord where we brainstorm and plan our week together.

I often feel guilty though. Because my life structure (work, family, hobbies) differs from Graham’s we often pass each other during the day and it can limit our ability to chat. For someone who develops software, I’m a bit anti-tech. I don’t do a bunch of internet surfing and I don’t spend more time on a computer than what I need to. Graham is very connected to the net. A lot of the entertainment that he and I talk about is delivered via his computer. I often feel this divide and a wave of guilt of unmet expectations hits me.

But we talk, we work together, and we support our styles with the tools we have at our disposal. When I have the opportunities, I take the 10 hour drive and go spend a few days in the South with him.

I guess the point of my rambling is that there were no excuses for me to not follow my dream. When I decided with Graham to become a writer. I found I made the time to support that decision. Is it hard? …sometimes. Is it rewarding? …always. Life is a balance and life as a writer is no different. But each day, I get closer to the goal. What motivates me? I’ll tell you that after Graham talks about his writer/life balance. I’ll sit back and let him tell you.

Be kind.

Clevenger