Hello, Readers! Clevenger here!

As y’all are probably piecing together, Graham and I had pretty different childhoods. And yes, I said “Y’all.” I’m the Yankee and say “Y’all more than he does. Strangers have also have assumed, that out of the two of us, that I’m the “Gay One.” We don’t ask questions, it’s just a thing. We move on.

Back to the childhood thing…

I grew up in a very “lower-middle” family. We struggled at times. We had little “extra.” But we were stable, healthy, and happy. In a previous post, I briefly talked about my father and how our relationship influenced the relationship between Kyrn and Symon. I also made a small mention of how my mother was an avid reader when she was a child and that I “knew” about it, but only through stories. Now, I think I’ll tell you the why.

My parents were teenagers when I was born. My mother was barely older than 16. So they were growing up as I was growing up. And obviously, there were a lot of challenges that faced them. So many people told them that they were “destined to fail” and how they “would fail as parents” because they were too young. Through them, I gained a fierce independence and a desire to prove anyone and everyone wrong. But sometimes it was isolating.

When my sister was born, nearly four years after yours truly, my parents had grown a bit. My sister needed a vast amount more attention than I seemed to, and they doted on her to fulfil that. She was also much more like my parents than I was. As she grew up, she was athletic, social, and active. Much more relatable than the sullen, quiet, and introverted being I had become. I always wondered what I may have done to push them away, but have learned (as well as told them) that it was just life.

My father did tell me that he felt the same way as I grew up and felt bad about it. He said in his mid 20’s it was hard for him when he looked at his 9-year-old son and realized that I may be smarter than he was. Which is not true. My dad is actually very intelligent, has a memory that is impeccable. He just didn’t have access to the education that I did. That he ensured that I did. And while I never felt that way as a child, I now know that I’m becoming more and more like my father on each passing day.

And while my father has become one of my biggest influences in life. And has influenced my tales in many, many ways. There is more. His successes and failures as a young man growing his family and making the best out of challenging situations instilled in me that spark of defiance and independence that gave me a self-confidence that only became clear later in my life. After my brush with that suicidal moment that changed my life forever.

So, we rewind the clock… a bit further this time.

My Grandma C was an amazing woman. My father’s mother, she was the “wildcard” of the family. She had struggled with alcoholism (a trend in my family) and carried a reputation as such. Her eccentricities and persona were often discounted because of her history, and she never took much, including those judgements, seriously. And it was her ability to not care about what anyone thought that made her special.

When I was in my early teens, this woman decided to enter rehab and conquer her alcohol addiction. Again with everyone telling her that it was “temporary” and “never going to stick,” she bucked the odds and was sober for thirty years when she passed away in 2019. When I struggled with my mental health and came close to that dark moment, it was her that brought me back. Her strength to turn her life around inspired me to have the strength to do the same.

That inner strength and defiance that was evident in my father, that was instilled in me, was fanned to a full flame after I came back from the void. I talked about this with her for years and was so amazingly proud of who she was, and what she made possible within me. And she was proud of me for how I came through and what I was able to accomplish with my life.

Grandma C was also the woman who introduced me to Stephen King. And she would be so very proud of what Graham and I have accomplished with “Manticore’s Shadow.” And when I doubt myself, and ask “What if people don’t like it?” She would ask… “Have they ever written a book? If not, screw them. And if they have… well, screw them anyways.” And when we publish, she would buy a copy (not ask for one, she would go buy it) and she would read it. Then, she would tell me exactly what she thought of it (good or bad) and tell me how amazing it was that we made this happen.

I have a host of other influences in my life, but in the world of writing, my father and my Grandma C shape my perspective on life that comes out in my words. These two provide me the strength to try something bold and brash.

So, now I hand the baton back to Graham for a bonus week! He’s promised you there was a conversation to come… but I’ll let him surprise you!

Until next time. Be kind.

-Clevenger